Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14
Before I started my Sunday run last night, I was content with finishing my 4 miles in 28 minutes. A 7 minute a mile pace is pretty good for running 4 miles because you work up a nice sweat, yet you’re not sprinting. I put my shoes on and in less than 5 minutes I was out of the door to beat the sunset. Now what happens next is not foreign and happens quite a bit to me, I’m working on this now. I started my run and was about a mile into it when a guy runs past me. In some crazy way, him passing me translated into him disrespecting me in my mind. Because the first step to getting over a bad habit is admitting it, I must admit that I am a pretty competitive person to a fault. As the runner passed me, my pace automatically picked up and I was suddenly on his heels. I followed this random strange runner mocking his pace making sure that my feet were hitting the ground at the same time as his for about 2 miles. His pace was much faster than my pace and my lungs were screaming, but I wasn’t going to quit and he is going to learn to never pass me again. At the end of mile 2, his pace started to slow up and I was about to make my move and pass him to show him who’s boss. To my dismay, the runner stops and starts to stretch. What?!?! This was mile 3 for me and I hadn’t realized that I had 1 more mile to go. I had an entire mile to go and my body was aching and crying for me to stop. At any point now I knew my knees would buckle and the t-shirt with “If I pass out call this number” idea that my dad gave me suddenly seemed like a brilliant idea. After I passed the runner and without my permission, my body down shifted to a crawl like jog. As I finally made it to the end of my 4 mile run, it had been 30 minutes, I was drenched with sweat, and I felt like I needed to throw up. Does this story sound familiar to you?
collage of marathons with friends
Maybe your story isn’t exactly like mine, but have you ever wanted what someone else had or wanted to be just like someone else? Staying focused is especially hard to do when you are comparing and competing with other people. Just like my situation where I was competing with the runner, you never know what happens when you are not watching. I didn’t know where the runner started, he could have only ran 2 miles and instead of me being focused on my goal, I was distracted and lost sight of the goals that I set for myself. In life we want the life of other people, we want their cars, their jobs, their shoes, their bags, their money and in reality we have no idea what the story behind their lives. God doesn’t want us to covet our neighbor but in turn wants us to delight ourselves in Him. Trying to be like others will burn you out, the same way I barely finished my run before the sun went down because I was focusing on someone else. The Bible tells us in Romans 12:2 not to conform to this world but instead to renew our minds. Let’s challenge ourselves to only compete with ourselves and push ourselves to do what God wants us to do and not what others push us to do.
In Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority -Colossians 2:10
As I was getting dressed this morning I heard a song by Tenth Avenue that made me think back to a month ago during my cheerleader mini-camp. Mini-camp is a fun filled weekend when us cheerleaders participate in various fun activities designed to help us bond as a team. The weekend usually consists of fun team building activities, personal safety workshops, dancing, public speaking, and more. I laughed so much I gave myself a stomach cramp. One particular activity that was challenging to me this year and hadn’t been in previous years was the public speaking exercise. It wasn’t so much the public speaking portion, but the questions our speaking coach posed to me. We have this dynamic speaking coach who flies in just for this portion of our mini-camp, his name is Ron. Ron does a great job of digging deep to help us become more aware of ourselves and each other. The only rule that he had this year was not to cry. Cry? Pah – leeze, that is easy for me. It was my turn to speak, I gave my speech and I was done, my teammates gave me good feedback and I’m ready to go sit back down. Not so fast. He made a comment and told me that he wanted me to come out of my shell and not just be a pretty face, but let people know who I am and what I brought to the team. “So Erica, what do you think you bring do this team?” was his question. His question resonated something inside of me because from that point on, I couldn’t think about anything else. Who am I? What do I bring to the team? I mean, I know who I am, but why can’t I express this? As I stood in front of all of my team mates, tears came to my eyes, and it was a wrap. I felt helpless, embarrassed and frustrated because I honestly couldn’t answer his question. I saw one of my team members raise her hand in an attempt to help me, but he insisted on making me do this myself.
two cute nerds
OK - now she really is a nerd, but a really cute one
love all around
my little sister from Japan
How many times are you stuck in a moment where you don’t understand your worth? Are there times when you ask yourself, “what am I good at” or say “I’m not good enough”. Have you ever made a mistake and continuously let that mistake define you as a person? At the end of the public speaking portion so many of my teammates came up to me and gave me big hugs and told me that they loved me and I mean so much to them. I still couldn’t think of who I was and what I brought to the team. As I thought about this, I realized that Ron challenged me. He challenged me to be more of a leader, not to be afraid of telling people my accomplishments, and to let my true light shine. I came to the conclusion that modesty can be somewhat of a flaw to some extent. I hate when people brag so I almost never tell good things about myself. I even hate it when my mom tells my family the things that I have done. This past mini-camp has shown me that you have to be confident in your accomplishments and the trials that you have overcome, not just for yourself but others. An example, when I was reading the book Cupcake Brown I was really encouraged to go back to school to get my PhD. Learning about all of her shortcomings and how she thrived through them all made me push myself to want more. After about 3 weeks, I can finally answer Ron’s questions. Who am I? I am a child of God and I bring His love, kindness, and understanding to my team. Don’t you know who you are?
love my captain for so many reasons one reason is she knows who she is and she makes no apologies for it
If you are having difficulty finding your worth and who you are these steps might help.
1. Know that you are a child of God. Period.
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God -John 1:12
2. Whatever you have done in the past, let it stay in your past, you have been set free from it. Your past does not define who you are today.
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace -Ephesians 1:7
3. Find one good thing about yourself and embrace it. Be confident in who you are.
4. Think about one test or trial that you have overcome and share it with someone. You can encourage others too.
If you fell for this line, you are not alone. There have been plenty of times when I’ve clicked on these types of job descriptions or believed something that was almost impossible. Guess what? It was impossible!
Proverbs 13:4
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
One thing I’ve learned in life is that shortcuts do NOT pay off. As a matter of fact it irritates me so much when people think they can automatically get something when they put NOTHING into it. I understand that sometimes people get lucky, but for the most part luck favors the prepared. Get rich schemes DON’T work. Maybe at the beginning when you enter into one of these schemes, it can seem promising but before you know it you are paying more than you earn. Diet pills, DON’T work. Sure you can loose weight, but the root issue of the problem is still there and diet pills can not take those issues away. The fact that you don’t want to work hard and don’t want to eat healthy will go on unchanged, until you decide to make that change. Cheating does NOT pay off. How many of us cheated throughout school just to get an A on a test? We may have fooled our teachers into giving us a certain grade, but we actually cheated ourselves out of a learning opportunity, especially if we were paying for the class. Lying DOES NOT work. You will get caught. Lying to someone, to yourself, by omission, or whatever all limit growth in your life. OK, so you messed up, confess and grow from your mistake, we all make them.
One of my best friends is a really hard worker and I really admire her patience and diligence. I’ve seen her study for the PMP test for an entire year and successfully pass on her first try. I’ve seen her study for the GMAT for two years and was accepted into a top tier school and spent the week helping her celebrate her graduation and bomb new job!
Ari and I celebrating at The Library of Congress. Great excuse for me to straighten my hair
My beautiful dates
Jet lagged and cold but still smiling for the camera!
Graduation Day! You can't take us NO where
Strong smart women. Now we all have a Master Degree, on to our next venture!
OK, so the humidity ate up my hair and spat it out to look like this....
We fly across country or anywhere to support each other..with my brother Beans
We screamed our lungs out for our Ari
Cali Swag
God tells us in Proverbs 13:4 that if we are lazy, we won’t receive our blessings. To gain something you have to give something. That something you give could be time, love, forgiveness, energy, tithes, and there is plenty more to give. The only thing that is too good to be true that you can actually have for free is God’s love.
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” Matthews 6:34
I used to be a little envious of people who were super multi-taskers, wishing I could effortlessly accomplish the most in the least amount of time too. I’m over it now. I joke with my friends all of the time telling them that I’m a marvelous mono-tasker. It may be funny, but it’s true. I’m not saying that I can’t do two things at a time, but I do my best when I’m only doing one thing. I like things to be simple where I can focus all of my thoughts and energy. I used to be one of those people who wanted to do everything, and in the end did nothing. I remember one of my to-do list looking something like this: read bible, stretch, cook breakfast, go to gym, work, go to gym, pick up cleaners, go to Target, read for 45 minutes, cook dinner, write article, prepare lunch for tomorrow, clean up, write in blog. Believe it or not, I did everything on the list, but the work I did was not of quality. I cooked – but left dirty dishes, read- but didn’t comprehend, and didn’t work hard at the gym. Now when I make a long to-do list, I do one thing off of the list daily. I usually accomplish more when I simply focus on one thing.
In today’s “right now” society we are made to think that there is something wrong with us if we can’t do more than 4 things at once. God is not telling us to procrastinate and not be productive, because he is definitely telling us to take action. However, God is also saying in Matthews 6:34 to focus and do what we can do now and entrust the rest to Him. It’s that simple.
“I fly with the stars in the skies,
I am no longer trying to survive,
I believe that life is a prize,
But to live doesn’t mean you’re alive.
Don’t worry bout me, and who I fire
I get what I desire, it’s my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water, upon the vampire (vampire)
In this very moment I’m king,
In this very moment I slay, Goliath with a sling,
This very moment I bring
Put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring,
And I will retire with the crown, Yes!
No I’m not lucky I’m blessed, Yes!
Clap for the heavyweight champ, Me!
But I couldn’t do it all alone, We!”
blessed beyond measure
“…..I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life
Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive…….”
Yay, it’s 4th of July
Lets rewind to 4th of July weekend last year. It started off as a great day, I just made the team again, and I get to return home for our huge family 4th of July celebration. The problem = I hate flying. The solution = NyQuil gel pill. I fly so much that I pretty much have my trips down to a ‘T’ including when I take the NyQuil gel pill. I put together my summer travel outfit which was black leggings, black Fiel flip flops, over sized Mickey Mouse Tee, and my favorite checkered scarf. Now that I’m at the airport, I stop to get a small Caribbean Passion Jamba Juice which should tie me over for the next 6 hours.
NyQuil gel caps, my enemy
Help me out NyQuil
I’m finally on the plane and before takeoff, I grab my sunglasses and magazine out of my over sized bag and gently hit the flight attendant button above my head. The magazine will keep my attention until my NyQuil kicks in and my sunglasses are for me to sleep in. The flight attendant hurries over to me an in an exhausted tone she asks me what I needed. The flight was already late and people were surely going to miss their connections, but I needed a bottle of water to take my “medication” with. She left and returned in about 1 minute with a small bottle of water. I had the hookup, so I was flying free(which lasted for about 3 years) and one of the rules were to be almost invisible. This meaning, do not bug the flight attendant, do not ask for a window seat, do not be late, clean up your mess when you leave and more. All of these rules I broke, however not on purpose. Now that I have my bottle of water and two NyQuil gel pills in hand, I’m ready. I’m not the best at taking pills, so I slowly take the first one, success!! The second one I swallow, success…..Wait!! The second pill didn’t go all the way down, as a matter of fact, it’s coming back up. The pill slowly starts to come back up and then it stops. It’s stuck, it’s not moving!!!!! Is this really happening? OK, calm down and try to swallow. Oh no, I made it worse. Now my breathing is shut off.
It's Universal, meaning in EVERY language
The Universal Choking Sign
I’m in panic mode as I turn to the neighbor on my right and do the “universal choking” sign. My neighbor is not getting it. I look down to make sure I have my two hands wrapped around my throat and I turn to my other neighbor. My neighbor looks confused and then it registers as she screams, “she’s choking!!” Two flight attendants run to my seat and as I’m spitting the water that I swallowed after the second pill everywhere, one flight attendant ask me to get up out of my seat. At this point, my shirt is drenched with water and so is my seat. I can’t get my seat belt off fast enough, and I still can’t breathe. In my mind I was thinking, “I’m really gonna die from this NyQuil pill”. I follow the flight attendants from my seat through the aisles as I slob uncontrollably. I can see the passenger seated along the aisles cringe as I walk past them. I finally make it to the jet way bridge and I can see and hear ambulance on its way. Why hasn’t anyone given me the Heimlich maneuver? I’m waiting for the Heimlich, I’m dying here. Somebody, anybody? Nothing. Instead, they seat me in a wheelchair. At this point, I began to cough and they get excited because coughing means that I’m finally breathing. I try to talk and get choked again and then I cough again. So it’s been around 3 minutes of me disparately trying to breath and slowly my gel pill starts to dissolve. I’m slowly beginning to breathe without coughing. My throat is soar and if the plane was a little late before, it’s extremely late now. The flight attendants ask if I want to cancel the paramedics and I say yes. I really need to make this flight because as a standby passenger, you only have a few chances. After about what I felt was 3 hours, I returned to the plane embarrassed with stains of slob and water on my scarf and shirt. My eyes were read and tears were dried on my face as I tried not to make eye contact with any of the other passengers. When I got to my seat the same puddle of water was waiting for me. I wanted to hurry to sit because I’m sure everyone was mad at me, but I didn’t want any more of my body wet. I wiped the seat down and sat and I was ready to go. The flight attendant came to me and loudly asked me to write my name on a piece of paper as the reason why the plane was late. I wrote my name legibly as I could through my shaky hands. Obviously it wasn’t clear enough because she bolted out, “Is that Erica Westbrook with an E at the end?” Argh, she was trying to ruin me. So to end the story, we made it to JFK, I ran to my next connection and barely made it home. The first NyQuil pill I took never kicked in and it was the longest flight of my life. True story.
Before you write me off for good and unsubscribe to my blog, just hear me out for a quick minute. I promise I had the same reaction when I heard this message last month. So yes, I realize that it’s February and I am now finally finishing my New Year’s Resolutions. I’m going to show you the before and after list. The before list is what I did before I heard the message about NOT putting God first.
Put God first – spend time with God more
Family and Friend – call them more and spend time with them
Finances- save money
Health- eat healthier and work out 3x a week
The problem here isn’t that I put God first. The problem is I only put Him first and didn’t include Him in everything else. In order to have God the center of my life, He needs to be included in and throughout all of my goals and resolutions. I prayed over my list and took some time to really focus on how important it is to put God in everything. So many times I’ve created resolutions which turned into distant memories by February of that same year. This year will be different. I want to do God’s will throughout all my resolutions and goals and at the same time remember that nothing is impossible for Him. Once I figured out how specifically I would put God into every resolution and not just the first one, I came up with a new list.
Spiritual:
Morning time with God. Spend my first moment awake thanking God, praying, and reading about Him.
Join a weekly growth group at church. I need to stay more involved because I can find many other distractions to keep me too busy for Bible study.
When the Giants won the World Series - exploring
Mental:
Read 1 CLEAN book a week. I admit, I am a sucker for dramatic novels. I’m not saying I won’t read action packed or mystery books anymore, but my new rule is, I won’t read any book that I wouldn’t refer to my pastor. I’m just not going to target certain authors where I know there will be drama, sex, and drugs. Instead, my plan is to read inspirational books that plant positive seeds. Later, reflecting on the books and talking about them with my family and friends, and my readers of course
Explore the area that I live in. There is so much culture, history, nature, city, and great weather where I live. I need to do some exploratory learning and living.
My little sister and I at our dad's 70's themed party
Relational:
Spend time with a friend/s once a week just listening, laughing, and enjoying life with each other. Proverbs 17:22 -A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Talk to ALL of my family more. I have two sisters, but I only talk to one of them. The one I talk to, I talk to multiple times a day. I gave up on the youngest one. I took it very personal that she doesn’t seem to care whether or not we speak. She doesn’t call me back when I call her or she just doesn’t think to call me. It’s been a month and I haven’t talked to her. That is so ungodly and I am ashamed of myself for trying to teach her a lesson. She isn’t mean spirited, just a little nonchalant. She tells me “she tries”, but that hasn’t been good enough for me. I’m going to reach out as God has always reached out to me. When I ignored His calls and didn’t return His text, He has never stopped calling me, thankfully.
Volunteer once a month. This doesn’t need explanation and is my duty as a Christian and humanitarian.
Stay more connected to my readers. Post daily. Tweet even on weekends. Readers, you can hold me accountable.
My favorite nachos and all time happy hour snack
Financial
Cook more and eat out once per month. I usually cook around 3 or 4 times per week so this won’t be too bad. However, I go to lunch a lot with coworkers and friends, and I will cut back on that. Not only does it cost money that I could be saving, but it’s hard to know what is in your food and what it has been cooked with and in. When I eat out, and because I’m skinny, I feel like it’s OK to just eat and eat even when I’m not hungry. I’m going to control this. Phil 3:19 – Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
Save money for online store. I will be launching an online accessory and pretty bible things in May 2011. I refuse to take out loans and will be using my own money for this launch. Being a faithful thither and a good steward with my finances, have allowed me to save up enough money to start my online store. However, I want to keep saving for further growth.
Spend no more than $500 at a time. No splurging. I have a habit of splurging when I know I have enough money saved.
hello world, meet my boo...Mr. Pinkberry
Physical:
Eat 5 fruits and veggies daily. Genesis 1:29 – And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. I clearly don’t do this. But Will!!
Remove salt from my diet and add herbs and fresh veggies. This may mean making 3 out of 4 saltless meals per week. There have been more than a few people in my family with hearth issues and diabetes. I want to beat this and lead a healthier life style.
Crossfit and yoga 3 x a week. When I think it’s too tough, I will keep the scripture in mind. Isaiah 26:3 – Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in thee. As I’m doing burpees, I will keep my mind on God!
Run 3miles 2x a week
Salsa social dancing at least 3x a month. I used to go dancing 2x a week and that didn’t include my salsa team’s practices(4 nights a week). Something that I love but have become too lazy to do. When I get there, I love it. I just hate getting ready.
Love my body the way it is. I don’t want to obsess about the way I look, but with the way I feel.
Me and E, loving life and loving God
As you can see, when I focused on putting God not just first, but throughout, my second list became more detailed with specifs on how to reach my goals. The first list was just something I(emphasis on me, myself, and I) wanted with no clear milestones or end goals or God. What are your resolutions? If you’re smarter than me, you probably have already started them in January. Good luck to you.
I love technology for the mere fact that it has connected me with people who I would have never met otherwise. I recently had the chance to converse via twitter with a young woman who probably lives thousands of miles away from me. Yet, she has inspired me like she lives next door. I was reading her blog and she wrote a simple yet strong post. The message that I got out of it was forgiveness. The type of forgiveness that God gives us which is very hard to give to others. The message I also got was accountability, she wasn’t making any excuses. She doesn’t blame anything on anyone, she just rolls with the punches and lives her life. In her post I love how she addresses him as “dad” and signs the letter as “your daughter”. Thanks girl, your dad is missing out!
Dear Dad,
It’s Shavra…yeah you know me! Wow time shooooo has passed. lol. I’m 26 now and I’m doing well. God has blessed me with so many things. I wanted to say thanks! Thanks for everything that you did for me. Even though you did nothing outside of conception I’m thankful for you. Why? Because all God needed was a seed to get me here and He knew that He had the rest covered. If you may be wondering…I’m fine. I’m beautiful, smart, goofy, in college, in the military, and many more. Nah really I’m well! How are you? You should be like a billion years old by now lol well maybe in your mid-sixties. I hope you know Christ as Lord and Savior. That’s all I want for you. To know God and his unfailing love….
Well!!!!! That’s about all I have to say about that!
Even if Shavra isn’t receiving fatherly love from her earthly father, I can tell her Heavenly Father is crazy about her. Forgiveness can lighten your load, change your life, release anger, help you move on and love again. No excuse!!
My very best friend has a way of making everything positive. He doesn’t just say positive things, but he thinks positive, he truly lets God use him for His good. Previously in his life, he experienced something that I know I would have handled differently than he did. While a freshman in college and his brother a senior in college, his brother was playing intramural basketball. His brother a tall, active, smart engineering student played basketball to stay in shape. He played basketball for his last time that day as his heart stopped beating and he joined God in heaven. In moments like this some Christians may question God’s presence.
It’s moments when despair seem too much for me to bare when I turn to Romans 8. In Romans 8, Paul asks us “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” …“Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” Paul continues to say, “I am persuaded that [nothing] shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ”
Paul and my friend both believed that all things even if not good, can be used by God to accomplish good. I would like to have this type of unshakable faith where nothing can separate me from God.
So if you haven’t heard already, I was doing a 10 day fast. I told everybody, so if you didn’t know, you haven’t been paying attention. I told my parents, friends, family, team mates, members, and co workers. My reasoning for telling was 1) Because most of the time, I was offered food 2) I wanted to be held accountable 3) I was proud of what I was doing. Has anyone ever heard about God telling us what He sees secretly will be rewarded by HIm openly? Basically, I was allll wrong in telling everyone.
Matthew 6: 2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
What I was doing was boasting and being loud about my plans. My plans that should have been between God and I. God wants us to only find glory through Him and not others. Whether it be giving in church, giving to the needy, doing a fast, or praying for each other to name a few. God will reward us openly, but we must do it for the right reasons and let it be between God and ourselves.
Have you ever had a moment when you said to God, “God, I promise if you get me through this, I will never do it again”? There have been times in my life where I knew I wasn’t obedient to God and I pleaded and bargained with Him to get me through a particular situation with promises to be faithful to Him in return.
Lamentations 3:22 reminds us of how great God’s faithfulness is to us and how His mercy and compassion is new every morning. Every morning every minute, every second we are given second chances by God. When every moment counts, what will you do with your second chance?
Sometimes, I am not satisfied with the way I look. When I was younger I wanted to be shorter. I felt taller than everyone, clumsier than everyone and lankier than my peers. Now that I’m older I have a new wish list for myself. I wish my feet were prettier and my skin was smoother and even. I wish I was curvier and had a six pack the list goes on and on.
In Psalms 139, David talks about how God designed and fashioned his tiny body together in his mother’s womb. God loved David before he ever existed. David was shaped by God’s love into a unique creation and you are no different.
You were uniquely made and are uniquely loved by God. Every bump, curve, dimple, freckle, pimple, cellulite, and imperfection in your eyes are perfect in Gods. If we are perfect in God’s eyes does anything else matter?
By God’s wise designing
We are wonderfully made,
Every part essential
And in perfect balance laid. —Anon
I’m going to speak for myself when I say I have the following on deck 24 hours of the day: cell phone, laptop, twitter, facebook, emails, bbms, im’s, gtalk. I stay well connected. At any point of the day, I can be reached or reach out to others. I am in the know and constantly looking for new information whether it be news, fashion, gossip, or random facts. Basically I am connected by technology and it’s important in my life. So where is the quiet time? The quiet time with God, where is it?
When Psalm 23:2 speaks of “laying down in green pastures”, I’m positive it means more than just that. They speak of our one on one time, our communion with God. God restores our soul and leads our paths.
In the New Year I am vowing to myself to limit myself from technology to find that quiet time with God. When you think about it, God is the one who gives us 24 hours in a day, it’s His time anyway. Finding a few minutes in your busy day to read a bible scripture, say a prayer of thanksgiving, praise God for the time He is giving shouldn’t be too much to ask.
I know my life is far far from perfect, but God has a way of surprising us and making moments of our life feel perfect beyond our circumstances. It was a few Sunday’s ago when my preacher emphasized the point of God knowing the desires of our hearts. If we pray to God and try do His will, He will grant you the desires of your heart. The secret desires that you try to suppress in order to do God’s will will be noticed by Him. Thank you God for all of your many blessings.
Psalm 37:4 – Delight yourself also in the LORD: and he shall give you the desires of your heart.
A sweet soul was taken away from this earth this weekend. A great friend and amazing dancer. I remember Victor as always putting in his own flare and flavor in our choreographed routines when we were all supposed to look alike. I remember Vic throwing in a head whip here and there and a kick when no one was watching. But I saw hi m. I saw him for the kind person that he was. I saw him for never giving up on love and always loving to the end. I saw him for how much he loved to salsa dance and how passionate he was about it. I saw all the effort he put into extra practices and cross training in different styles of dance to improve his salsa. I loved Victor Alvarez for being a friend to me from the very first practice we had together 5 years ago until now. It’s hard for people outside of the salsa scene to understand us Salseros. It’s hard for non Salseros to understand why we practice almost every day of the week sometimes getting out of practice at 1 am or later. It’s hard for non Salseros to see why we go out social dancing at least 3 times a week. It’s hard to understand how this hobby can be so expensive – paying to go to compete and perform at congresses and paying for crazy costumes. I feel blessed to be a part of the salsa scene/community/family. I feel blessed that I could share this experience with you Victor Alvarez. Victor you will never be forgotten.
Don’t forget….. when you are dancing away in heaven, practice hard because when I get there, we will finally compete together.
Te Extranos mucho. Dios te bendiga y descanses en paz,
the christianista
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;Trusting that he will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonable happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next, Amen
This song is dedicated to my friend Victor who passed away on Saturday, November 27th. R.I.P. Victor Alvarez, I’m so proud of what you have accomplished and I will miss you my friend.
I’ve been living in an area for about 3 years that is more liberal than most parts of the US. Living in the Bay Area, differences are highly celebrated and conventional ways of life and traditions are slowly becoming history. Traditions including religious traditions are almost unheard of. I’ve never seen anyone at a restaurant pray before eating their meal. Only 3% of the population in my state attend church. With such a low percentage of church goers creates the problem of no churches to go to. Churches are extremely hard to find, and when you find one it feel like a waste of my time. So why should I even go? I can read my Bible, pray, and study on my own and in the comfort of my own home.
Not until today, did it really sink in after reading 2 scriptures how important attending church really is.
From Hebrews 10:25 says:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
James 5:16 says:
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
From these two versus I feel that I should go to church to:
It’s a place where I can confess my sins and have people to help hold me accountable. I’m not going to spill my personal business, but it is nice to have Christians who are on the same road to help encourage me when I have my down falls to praise and worship with.
Two words if put side by side carry years and years of conflict and resentment. Gay and Christian. As a Christian I was taught that a man is made for a woman and a woman is made for a man. As a Christian I was taught that you shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage. As a Christian, I was never taught to hate any person or judge any person. Now where does that leave me?
I grew up in church, going every Sunday, Wednesday, and Saturday. My parents were heavily involved in church – disciplined Christians. We had family bible study and weren’t allowed to listen to secular music. My parents were very, what you would call conservative Christians. However, my parents never judged or taught us to judge. Having members of the Lesbian Bi Gay Transgender Queer (LBGTQ) community in my family, made it very easy to learn to genuinely love people regardless of their lifestyles. As a matter of fact, I don’t know any different than to do this. This is one of the most difficult conversations to have. Is it OK to be a Christian and have gay friends? Or, can you be a Christian and be gay? I would love to hear your thoughts.
It’s normal for me to stay up all night cleaning, working, or practicing a dance. Last night was one of those nights I was up reading a book my sister suggested and that’s when the spider chased me!
I was lounging on my couch and reached for a piece of paper I saw sticking out under my couch. As soon as I pulled the paper from under the couch, out came a huge spider. The spider was crawling fast but slow toward me just like the little girl crawled out the TV from the movie The Ring. Usually I’m not afraid of spiders, but this spider was a warm blooded mammal. Also, I’ve never seen any insects in my house before. After what felt like 30 minutes, I grabbed one of my boots and dropped it on the spider and ran screaming. “The battle is halfway over”, I thought to myself. Now, I have to scoop the spider up and throw it away. Another 30 minutes passed. “Fear is not of God, fear is of the devil” I keep telling myself. I finally gain the courage to scoop the spider up into a dustpan. On my way to the trash the spider rolls out of the dust pan to the floor. However, when it fell to the floor it made a loud thud. What in the world? It almost sounded too heavy to be an insect, as a matter of fact when it fell it bounced. Could that be a……a……oh my goodness! It was a marble!! For 1 1/2 hours, I was afraid of a marble?!? I have to do better.
In a previous post I wrote about fear and worry. God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, he gave us a power, love, and a sound mind (Timothy 1:7). Now if only I can recall this scripture in moments like this.
We’ve all had moments in our lives when we feared something. We’ve feared for our jobs, feared for our kids, feared for our relationships, and our health. Sometimes we fear and worry so much to the point that it makes us sick. What does God say about our worry, anxiety, and fear?
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
Faith is encompassing His word. Believing in what He says and living by His word is the definition of faith. That’s all.
Joking with my friend the other day I bragged, “I don’t have to lie, my truth is amazing!” I said it with so much attitude that my “joke” fell short of the last laugh and she looked at me with serious eyes and said, “that was kind of deep.” I guess when I think about it, I really meant what I said. I don’t have to pretend to be anything other than myself, take it or leave it.
Have you ever felt like you were conforming to what others thought of you? I myself can remember specific times when I became a person that someone else wanted me to be. I had to realize that I was much better than that. You and your beautiful self are so amazing. Yet we sometimes forget this. Instead we believe in some of the definitions that the world tries to give us. The world is a tricky place and can sometimes have you living a life that is far from who you really are. The world can put labels and stereotypes on you and if you’re not careful, you will end up living and being those things. People will try and define you as a liar, a cheater, a whore, a loser, a failure, fat, ugly, an addict, not good enough. This world will try to define you as everything but a child of God. When people back stab you, when you are heartbroken, when you lose your job, when you lose a loved one, when everything in your world is turned upside down, you can easily fall weak to definitions. Don’t let anyone define you as undeserving of love, a failure, a victim, a liar, that God doesn’t love you – those are all lies. In actuality, you are far from those things. Your beauty is unyielding. Your strength cannot be weakened. Your perfection can not be flawed. You are amazing, beautiful, and perfect and you know who defined you this way? God.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
You don’t have to let someone else define you. You don’t have to be something that God didn’t destine you to be. You don’t have to live a lie, your truth is amazing.
From a young age I’ve been taught to tithe. In church and at home my parents and pastor always emphasized how important giving 10% of what you earn to God. That’s great, and if you were raised in church, it may be natural to you to give back when you get your paycheck, but what if you are jobless. What if you don’t have anything to give? The answer is, if you are breathing, you can always give.
Luke 6:8 For if you give, you will get! Your gift will return to you in full and overflowing measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use to give – large or small — will be used to measure what is given back to you.”
Basically, you can be jobless, broke, heartbroken, unhealthy, or whatever you think your shortcomings are, as long as you are breathing, you can give back. Giving back to someone less fortunate than you. Someone who will be blessed by you.
I have heard and read and heard and read for years that it takes 30 days to create and break a habit. Great, no problem. Wait, problem, how do I get past one week? I can go through phases where I write lists of things to do and then somewhere down the line my motivation fades. How do I get past that slump?
Steve Pavlina, personal development expert, suggests thinking of the 30 days as temporarily doing something. He says that if you think of it as only 30 days and on the 31st day you can go back to your habit(s), you are more likely to start. However, after the 30 days, you will most likely stick to it. Think about those TV infomercials. When you’re watching one of those “As seen on TV” commercials and you finally muster up the will power to keep from buying that Sham Wow. Then all of a sudden you see and hear “try for 30 days, if you’re not satisfied you get your money back” Well if I don’t know a deal when I hear one!
Starting on September 1st, I’m going to break my lifelong habit of eating sweets every day. Starting on September 1- 30th I won’t partake in any type of sweets including cake, cookies, candy, drinks, doughnuts, pastries, pop tarts, cereal, kettle corn, and anything else that is considered a sweet. Along with this goal, I will exercise everyday even on Sundays. Pray for me.
What bad habits are you willing to give 30 days of your life to change? I will keep you up to date on my progress.
“I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me”
The choice to give my life to Christ was solely up to me, no pressure from anyone. Of course my parents wanted it for me, but they didn’t pressured me. Actually I remember doing something similar, but I was too young to do it for myself. I remember like it was yesterday, which is rare for me because I forget almost everything unless its traumatic. My decision had been made well before the altar call, well before the sermon, well before the choir selection and praise and worship, I just knew that that was the day. Little did I know that the decision was made for me on this certain day way before the thought entered my mind. This decision was already made for me before my parents wanted it for me and before my birth – according to God.
I remember the sermon ending and my heart racing. By the time the altar call had begun, my hands were sweating. Was it because I was thinking about what others were thinking – probably. I felt ashamed and felt that everyone would know my sins and would judge me. I was very involved in church, my father a deacon and both my parents were directors of the Children’s Church. I was at church 3 times a week and had Bible study at home with my family. I mean, was I THAT bad a sinner? I used profanity quite a bit. I had tried alcohol and weed before, but that was only once and I didn’t even inhale. Sure I kissed plenty of boys, but I was still a virgin and on my way to college soon, so I wasn’t that bad. Actually, I was pretty darn good. I was only suspended once in school and was only out a few days because I had near perfect grades. I was Homecoming Queen which showed how nice I was to my fellow peers. I worked hard at sports and my track coach told me that ECU wanted to extend a full scholarship to myself and 3 other ladies on my team. The only time I skipped school was to get food. My teachers loved me, especially my bio teacher who helped me get invited to the State Science fair. As a matter of fact because I was such a “good student” I held drugs for one of my “cousins” because no one would ever suspect me. Of course I went to college parties already and drove when my parents had no idea that I had started driving so early, but I was with my older cousin so I was safe. As long as I made great grades, stayed involved in church, and stayed involved in school what harm could I do? I was like the model teen……..on the outside, but in the inside something wasn’t right. I felt such a heavy burden – I wasn’t right with God. As I raised my hand to confess that I needed Christ in my life, it was like my arm weighed 50 pounds. I felt this feeling many times at church but suppressed it because I didn’t want people to think of me as a hypocrite. This time I felt courage that I had never felt before. When I finally stood up to walk down to the altar, the lump in my throat grew so big that it exploded, the tears falling down my cheeks were the only evidence. I didn’t understand why I was crying.
The walk to the altar seemed to take 10 minutes and I could feel the heat from peoples stares and the moisture from my arm pits trying to leave stains on my shirt. As I kept walking and getting closer to the altar I started to feel weightless like I knew I was walking, but didn’t feel like I was. It was at that point that I thought about God and not myself and my surroundings. I thought about how He gave his Son because he knew we would sin. I thought about how He knew my deepest darkest secrets and thoughts yet He still wanted me. I thought about how He worked miracles in my own family. I thought about how powerful He was. It was just about me and Him on a personal level now, no one else mattered at this point. As I started to focus on Him, my walk to the altar got lighter. Those stares that I felt previously turned into beams of pride. The stillness in the air lessened and sniffles and cries of praise filled the space. Hallelujahs were heard and rejoicings rang out. I started to think how lucky I was for being one of the people God chose. With the salty taste of dried tears on my lips and the gift of God’s love in my heart, I started to feel the burden lift. I could hear my Dad behind me shouting and crying- he had made his way down to the altar to support me, he has always been my biggest fan. God had already chose me, but this was the day that I chose Him back.
As I look back at my High School days, I realized that there were so many other people with my same path but have found themselves at a different endings. I was the typical teen and could have easily ended on a different road. I thank Jesus for his grace and mercy because I myself am nothing short of a miracle.
I just wanted to write to say if you are one of the people who hasn’t accepted Christ and feel that lump in your throat during altar call, lucky you, He is waiting for you to accept His invitation.
Reading is one thing I can’t live without, whether it be magazines, news paper articles, Bible, or just books, I love them all. I’m not the most avid reader like my youngest sister who spent summers checking out piles of books per week from the library. I try to at least get three books in a week. Books allow me to escape and focus on something that no one else can see at the time. They grow me and most recently have inspired me. I just read a book called, A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown.
If you have a hard time finding inspiration, please read this book. This book is memoir a woman, now a lawyer at one of the top law firms in San Francisco, named Cupcake Brown wrote. She wrote about her journey from the bottom to becoming a lawyer which was just short of a miracle. This woman has survived rape, gangs, shootings, drugs, molestation, abortions, you name it, she’s been there. To the world her life was over, but to God, her life was just beginning. She found and befriended Jesus and realized that no power from human love could ever save her, but only God could.
Her story makes me look at my life and know that with God I have no limitations. I am limitless and so are you.
Recently I’ve been dealing with things in my life that have kept me away from writing. I have been mourning the loss of a close friend, mentor, and loved one in the form of my grandfather. I understand that death is a a part of living, but it is very hard part to accept.
I thank God for the amazing relationship that he has formed together between his son Jesus and myself. If it weren’t for that relationship, I would question and doubt God’s intentions for taking such a precious part of my life away from me.
I talked to my grandfather on the phone at least every week. I LOVED hearing his voice, it actually made me smile. At times when I heard his voice, my eyes would well up from so much joy I had from hearing his laugh. Feelings of guilt for living so far away and not being able to provide him with a better life surrounded me. I loved my grandfather for so many reasons. I loved him because he was so overjoyed when I called him. I loved him because he was incredibly intelligent and I could never beat him in a game of checkers. I loved him because of the way his puppy dog eyes looked at me when I had to leave. I loved him because of the way I could talk to him for more than an hour on the phone and not realize it. I loved him because he gave me my Dad who reminds me of him in so many ways. I loved him because I can empathize with his sweet tooth. I loved him because when I was around him, it couldn’t get any better. I loved him because I could still teach him new things and tell him jokes. I loved him because he made me laugh out loud every time I talked to him.I remember when his first leg was amputated, I was so sad and he could see it in my face. He looked at me and said “don’t be sad, I can still dance” as he lifted his stump of a leg up and down to show me. He would always tell me to “take my love with you”.
I will always take your love with me Granddaddy, I just wish I could take you with me too. I miss you!
So today I realized that God is crazy about me. I love him and he loves me way more. Sometimes when I’m blessed with certain things that I know I don’t deserve, I feel like that little girl who has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. I feel spoiled by God. Out of all the people in the world, He loves me the most, or at least it feels that way. Have you ever received a blessing and thought to yourself that you didn’t deserve it?
I was reading a story about a little boy who was the only survivor of a plane crash and in good condition. Out of the 103 passengers and crew, this little 10 – year old boy survived. The media writes that this is nothing short of a miracle, but I’m writing that this is nothing but a blessing. After seriously thinking I was favored by God and that I had special attention, now I’m wondering is it possible for God to have two favorites?
God is so good that he makes us all his favorite. His omnipresence, love, and consistency is what keeps up feeling like #1. Psalms 139: 7 says it best:
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in 1Sheol, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will 1overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,” 12 Even the darkness is not dark 1to You, And the night is as bright as the day.Darkness and light are alike to You.
No matter what you do, where you go, who you’re with, God will be there too. He will be your #1 fan, your best-friend, your life jacket, your go to person, he will be there because you are his favorite!
Yesterday I found out that my Uncle Willie passed away. They found his body unconscious from a heart attack. My Uncle was young in age and even younger at heart. We would tease him because he would complain that he was tired all the time. He was the baby of the family. He lived and took good care of my granddad, but would sleep the day away. We would find him walking to his room saying, “I’m tired, I’ve been babysitting Daddy all day”. When we would come to visit my grandfather, we would bust through my Uncle’s bedroom door to make him wake up. He never told us why he was so tired. When he died, papers were found in his room, evidence finding him guilty of being on a wait list for a heart transplant. He never told us.
My dad took it the hardest in my opinion. It was his baby brother. It was the only other person who could make my dad so mad. My Uncle Willie. He was so funny!! No, really really funny. He was about 6 feet tall, thin boyish frame with a big head and even bigger smile. I can’t remember a time when he was not smiling.
There, I did it!
You will always be adored and missed. Until we meet again……
When it’s time for your faith to be tested, what grade will you get? To me, the tests that I’ve prepared for during school are not far from preparing for tests of life, faith in particular.
This subject came up after having a wake up call, literally, from my younger sister. I had been struggling with the decision of whether or not to try out for a professional sports dance team again after having an unexplained ankle swelling. After doctor visit after doctor visit, and blood test and x rays, my doctors diagnosed me with a healthy body. With a swollen ankle and a healthy body on paper, I was discouraged. I was so discouraged that I didn’t want to try out again for another season of dancing. Sunday morning my sister called me at 8:00 AM and she told me that I need to look at things not so much in black and white but as spiritual warfare. She proceeded in telling me that if I didn’t try out for the team again, then it’s like saying that I don’t have faith that God will heal me. She said she felt so sad that my dance was being affected and she wanted to fast and pray for healing in my body. I continued to listen to her and hold back tears as she told me how the devil doesn’t like when we are doing well. She explained how the devils hates that I am living and walking with God, spreading his word through this website, have a great job, dancing, and loving like I’ve never been hurt. She totally blew my mind and made me stop in my tracks and pray.
Just like a test for school, you have study partners and homework to prepare. In my situation, my sister is my study partner as she reminds me and opens my eyes and refresh me to new and old ideas. She made me realize who the real doctor is and how nothing is impossible without Him. Studying and reading the bible, specifically Psalm 16:8 I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will
not be shaken. Now with my study partner, homework, and my right hand Man, I am sure to pass with flying colors.
Today I found myself incredibly stressed out. I keep telling myself not to let people negatively affect my day, but I’m human and can’t control my emotions 100% of the time. As strong as his faith was, even Job got stressed from time to time. In Job 20: 27, Job says, “The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me.”Despite the situation, everyone experiences stress at some point in their life. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-30 to come to him when we are burdened and weary and he will help us rest. In times like now, I have to remember that stress isn’t worth the headache, especially when you can go to God for a spiritual Advil.
