The Christianista

So Marvin Sapp was on the Monique show on Tuesday when she said a few things to him including .”Marvin, you digs up in that a@#, don’t you?” That was one of the many things she said. You can find the video here, fast forward to 10:48:

http://www.bet.com/video/797837

love,

the christianista

Does the God command us to stay away from intoxication? Do you think it’s a sin for Christians to drink alcohol? From what I’ve read, the answer is yes and no.

The bible tells us in  Ephesians 5:18 to not to get drunk. So yes, God is commanding us as Christians to not get drunk of wine. The bible also tells us as Christians to stay away from doing things that may hinder non Christians from seeking God. He wants us to be an example, a light.
1 Corinthians 8:9-13
“9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”
I mean really, think about a time when you did something you regret because you were so gone; or you were so faded you can’t even remember if you did something you regret. It’s not a good look, and it’s not cute.

God also doesn’t forbid us to drink wine, beer, or any other alcoholic beverage. There are many scriptures in the bible where the bible discusses drinking in positive terms. Ecclesiastes 9:7 says, “Drink your wine with a merry heart.”

Even though God doesn’t forbid alcohol consumption, be very careful of the addiction that it could cause, drunkenness and the effects of drunkenness, and last but not least possibilities of causing offense to others who are stumbling. Let his light shine in you.

love,

the christianista

I usually don’t like Coach too much, but they have a few hot metallic bags. One of my friends was carrying one of their bags and I couldn’t tell from first glance that it was by Coach. I already love metallic, so I would obviously like these.

PEYTON TEXTURED METALLIC CROSSBODY

PEYTON METALLIC LEATHER DRAWSTRING CROSSBODY

MADISON METALLIC LEATHER LARGE HIPPIE

love,

the christianista

Find bags at www.coach.com

So I was reading this book, “How to marry the man of your choice”that one of my friends has a joke and have come to find some very interesting points. The book which was written in 1984 by Margaret Kent(she has written a new one since) talks about how to get that man of your dreams. Lol. While this book is hilatious (my word for incredibly funny), it brings up a very few  valid points. As I sneeze and wipe my fingers off on my jeans from the dust buildup on this book, margaret talks about the importance of self confidence as a woman. We always hear about how having self-confidence is attractive, but she shows us how an over confident woman is viewed through a man’s thought process:

1. She has a high opinion of herself
2. Therefore, she must be someone special.
3. She has a low opinion of most people.
4. Therefore, if she accepts me as her man, I must be someone special!

I’m sure you can’t go out and buy this book anywhere, so I will just give you “Margaret’s HTMTMOYC(How to marry the man of your choice) tips”. It only gets better. ROTFL. Actually, I should make a section for this.

love,

the christianista

This is my favorite dance routine from last season’s “So you think you can dance”. The dance is about a person trying to shake their addiction, but the habit is too hard for them to kick. As you can see, the piece causes some serious emotion.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

love,

the christianista

Age: 27

Occupation: Software Sales

Hobbies: reading, volleyball, shopping, board games, sleeping, and over-organizing in general

What does being a Christian mean to you? I could answer this in so many ways. But how I apply it to my life is by having an intimate relationship with God…believing in his word…and being a living example of how awesome a relationship with him is.

What are 2 challenges you face as a Christian woman?

#1) I am a PK. So off top that has to be my greatest challenge as there is a certain expectancy and perception that everyone has about how a preacher’s kid should act, or be…or what they should say or do. Especially as a woman!  There has always been this default box that you’re supposed to fit in, so you can wind up disappointing people often. This is something that has had a direct affect on who I am as a person- contributing to why I may be far more independent and determined….yet at the same time defensive, shut-off, and stubborn at times than I would normally need to be. Through all the criticism, judgment, and ridicule…I had to learn how to develop a relationship with God that was boxed and packaged just for Tamara, and not care about others. I came to learn that just as you can personalize something to fit you in the natural, I too could personalize my spiritual relationship with God. Trying to please both God and man will only set you up for failure, and eventually make you crash and burn.

#2)The second challenge as a Christian woman is maintaining a healthy balance and being a good example for other woman to look upon. Not being too “holy’er than thou” so to speak…but also not being too “of this world” that you can’t recognize that I am a woman of God. I think that if I am at either extreme, then I have missed my mark. I want to have a balance…both for me and for others to look upon. It is important to me to be a “touchable” example- meaning that I don’t freak people out by my flamboyant holiness, yet I am spiritually radiant enough for people to be both drawn in and touched.

We understand why natural disasters occur; we don’t understand why God allows them to happen. Katrina occurred, the monstrous Thailand Tsunami, now a 7.1 magnitude earthquake in Haiti? Why God? Why would you kill so many innocent people, some of them being babies? Why God, if you love us, why punish us in this way? Many people ponder these questions. People want to know why a God of mercy, all-power, and forgiveness would cause such a devastating event. This isn’t the first time people questioned God in times of disaster, and certainly won’t be the last.

Instead of focusing on these questions, I like to focus on how God has kept us from harm for so long. I like to praise God for saving us and forgiving us and having mercy on us, after sin after sin after sin.  When this question comes up, there are 3 things that come to mind.

1. This earthly world is just a layover

This is not your final destination, this is just a layover until your next flight. Your time here on earth is temporary; you are not supposed to be here forever, period, point, blank! God tells us that he is preparing a place for us after our earthly life (John 14:2-3). Although we want to live a fulfilling life while on earth, we have to realize that life here is provisional. Some people lose sight of the definition of everlasting life.

2. God brings goodness out of suffering

When disasters like this strike; it forces us to think beyond life here on earth. It brings the reality of death and life after death. It makes us think about eternity. After disasters, churches are usually filled as people realize how fleeting their time on earth really is, and how in an instant it could be over. We gather in churches after disasters to pray for the hurt, injured, and those who have lost in a time of disaster. We gather in churches to praise him for letting us have our health. We know how great our God is, and how many miracles occurred during the disaster. Disasters cause people to reevaluate their purpose and priorities in life. Money, help, and attention is given to areas that until the disaster may not have had it.

3. Christians are called to help

This morning I was listening to Lisa and Eric on K-love and a great point was brought up. During disasters like this, Christians and Christian ministries have the opportunity to help, pray, and lead people to Christ. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.”

God can and will bring good out of this tragedy, trust!

love,

the christianista

Ways to help Haiti:

Texting HAITI
to 90999
$10 will be charged to your cell phone bill.

Texting YELE to 501501
On Twitter, musician Wyclef Jean, a native of Haiti,
notes, “Haiti needs your help and $5 will go toward earthquake relief.”

Red Cross
www.redcross.org or 1-800-REDCROSS

Catholic Relief Services
www.crs.org or 1-888-277-7575

Blake Lively from Gossip girl says she doesn’t need a stylist. She says her mom and sister were both models and she loves fashion. She has this classic and sophisticated style that I love. At 22 years old , Blake says she likes classic brands of clothing like Chanel which matches her classic choice of music(Billie Holiday, Edith Piaf, Chet Baker). Even though she receives harsh critiques (“She’s the one that looked like a mess in that Nina Ricci dress at the Golden Globes!”) I’m still a fan.

“you know you love me, xoxo”

the christianista

Minx nails have been around in California for a while, and now have caught the attention of the south and east coast of the US. I’ve come to believe that Beyonce has something to do with the widespread of this new type of nail design. Minx nails are similar to the stick on nails I use to have as a little girl but with extra strong super glue and crazy designs. These nails are suppose to last for 2 weeks without chips or cracks.

If you’re like me and hate sitting in one place longer than 30 minutes, minx nails may be the way for you. When getting your minx manicure, you don’t have to wait for your nails to dry. You pick out  a design, it is then shaped to your nail, glued onto your nail and then you’re done! Voila!! Unlike your normal manicure, a minx nail manicure alone could cost at least $40.

Find a minx salon location near you at http://www.minxnails.com/salonlocator/index.php?c=1

have fun and minx it up!

love,

the christianista

Actually, I ate the first along with the third and fifth. After the fifth, I went back and ate the sixth, I will just leave the last cookie for someone else. Nope, I ate it too!!

OK, let’s rewind to the beginning of my day. I woke up at 6 am, prayed, blogged, showered, picked out the cutest outfit(my new red fine jersey double-breasted cardigan from American Apparel), and made myself a spinach tomato omelet with cheese. After watching a bit of the news, I casually made my walk to work. On the way to work, I had a fulfilling conversation with my sister about her new boyfriend. My walk was around 20 minutes and although overcast skies and street puddles from the  morning rain, the weather was great. Not only was the weather great, I got to wear my brand new rain boots. I’ve been waiting for 3 months to wear them. As I walked down the streets and freely splashed through puddles, I took in the view of the ocean. I passed kids on their way to school, buses filled with people on their way to work, taxi cabs, dog walkers, and other pedestrians, I knew this day was going to be a good day…. health wise.

I get to work 15 minutes early and caught up with one of my co-workers. She told me she loved my boots and I couldn’t help but to agree with her. Needles to say, I was having a great morning. 30 minutes later, in comes my manager with a plate of cookies. Not just regular cookies, but chocolate chip homemade cookies with few chocolate chips in them, just the way I like it.

He ruined my life!! OK, so I’m a bit dramatic, but I will start over tomorrow.

love,

the christianista

Psalms 34:18 says: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

When you feel  rejected, dismissed, mistreated, used, and hurt and the list goes on and on, Jesus is there. God is closer to you than you think!

When I was a young girl and would get in trouble by my parents, my younger sister would ALWAYS be there to comfort me, even when I didn’t want her to be there. I would sit in my room and cry, pout, and was angry at my parents and in comes my little sister. She would come to my defense, and express to me how it was unfair for me to be  in trouble.  She would get so involved emotionally that I would have to shush her for fear of my parents coming back in and putting both of us on punishment (lol). She has always tried to take up for me and has always had my back! When you are mistreated and are hurt and down, Jesus wants to be there for you. He wants to comfort you and take up for you even when you don’t want or expect Him to be there.

Wherever you are in your life and whatever you may be going through, remember, He will be right there.

love,

the christianista

So I’ve been on a mission to create a healthier life for myself, and in turn have healthier skin. Have you noticed woman who are extremely beautiful really don’t have to accessorize to the T? Maybe stud earrings, a tank, and her hair pulled back?

I’ve noticed out of all of my friends who have this certain natural style about them all  have two things in common. They all have very radiant and acne free skin. I have added a healthy skin regiment to my already long existing list of “healthy To Dos”.
My esthetician recommended the following:
1. Eat healthy – leafy greens, fruits,and veggies every day
2. Exercise – at least 3x per week
3. Drink plenty of water – 60oz per day
4. Get a facial at least 4 times per year
5. Use facial cleansers for your skin type – I use Neutrogena products
6. Wear sunscreen – yes, this goes for all skin types. I use All-In-One Tinted Moisturizer Sunscreen SPF 15 by MD Skincare

I’m so ready for the summer. Swimsuit ready body, pretty skin, and Jesus by my side. I’m ready!!!!

I was in a long distance relationship for about 2 years. How did I do it? First of all, it wasn’t as hard as you would imagine. Secondly, it forced me to be wildly creative and think of ideas that I would’ve never thought of before. Lastly, it helped me to see and experience the relationship without the physical influences, but solely off of our personalities.

With all of the different technologies  like skype, gtalk, chats, webcams, ichat, and even cell phones, the distance between two people in long distance relationships are slowly bridging.

I was talking to one of my friends, who is currently in a long distance relationship, about some things that she could do while in her relationship to make it more fun:

• Make sure to constantly communicate – You aren’t able to see each other, so communicating is very important. Tones can be easily misinterpreted without clear communication over the phone and through text messages. In my relationship, my boyfriend at the time , didn’t like talking on the phone. Explain to your partner how important talking on the phone is and establish a time to talk everyday or however many times per week you decide.
• Rent the same movie and watch it together – This use to be a favorite of mine. We would rent the same movie, play it at the same time,  and stay on speakerphone to watch.
• Dinner and a movie – Like the above suggestion but adding dinner. We would both go to Burger King while we were  on the phone together and order and then watch a movie together.
• ichat/gtalk/skype – watching a movie or just watching each other, ichat creates a sense of togetherness
• Write love letters and send through snail mail – Sure, an email is great, but an actual letter is that much more special.
• Send care packages – My boyfriend at the time would send me packages of random things from pictures to tshirts that smelled like him. You don’t have to go out and buy new stuff, just make it personal.
• Send random I love you texts: One of my favorites “I’m here and you’re there. There doesn’t know how lucky it is.”
• Send a CD with you singing your favorite love songs – So you may not be a Mariah Carey, but that doesn’t matter. Having a CD with your voice is something your partner will never forget. Youtube has many songs with just the music and the lyrics that scroll on the screen like karaoke. Use Youtube for your music and record using Garageband.
• Define how long you will be in the relationship – Last but certainly not least, you can’t be in a long distance relationship forever. You need to define how long the gap in distance will exist in your relationship. Set a deadline or date.

These are just a few ideas to get you going, once you start, your creativity will take off. Some of these things can be done even if you aren’t in a Long Distance relationship. If you have things that are creative or cute that you’ve done in your relationshop, share them in the comment section.

love,

thechristianista

It’s 2010! Thank God for giving us a New Year and a new day. Most people have New Year’s resolutions, and most people fail to keep these resolutions. Do you run into this problem? Do you always make New Year’s resolutions to read the Bible more, to exercise more, maintain a healthy diet, work on your finances? Do you ever forger about your resolutions by mid-year and plan to start them all over again at the beginning of the next New Year? If so, then maybe you should re-evaluate the power behind your New Year’s Resolution.

You say, Philippians 4:13 says “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” While this is true God also says in John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” So God is saying yes, you can do all of these things with my strength behind you. Yes, you can lose weight, regain your finances, maintain your healthy diet, and much more. However, you have to remain with God in order to accomplish these goals. You can’t do it alone. You may say to yourself, “I am doing it with God, I pray for strength to help me go and work out and eat right and spend right, what’s the problem”? The problem may be the reason you are doing this.

Are you planning to lose weight for vanity issues, or are you planning to stay healthy to serve God in a more efficient way?  Are you planning on working on your finances to bless your family and others by showing them God’s will or do you just want a new car for boasting rights? What is the purpose or meaning behind your New Year’s resolution. Ask yourself how will my New Year’s resolution help you serve God. When you answer this question, the answer will give you more motivation to accomplish this goal and also help to look to God and pray to him for assistance.

When you pray to God about your New Year’s resolution,  don’t just ask God to give it to you, but do the following:
1. First ask God for wisdom, on what He wants your New Year’s resolution to be. There is no need to pick your own and struggle with God because that is not His will for you. .Just make it easy on yourself and ask Him first
2. Ask and pray for wisdom on how He wants you to fulfill this goal.
3.  Don’t rely on yourself, but instead, His strength to push and motivate you.
4. Find someone to hold you accountable. Find a partner and share your goals with that person.
5. Don’t get discouraged with occasional setbacks. Instead, use them to push you even further than you thought you could go.
6. When you accomplish your goals, give the glory to God!!

I know you can do it. Find out what He wants, do it , and thank Him for it.
Remember,  He is the vine, you are the branch. Put the power behind your New Year’s Resolution!

love,

the christianista

info from http://www.gotquestions.org

Did you know when you look better, you feel better? Literally! According to the American Cancer Society, when you approve your appearance you also improve the way you feel. So basically anytime you need to make yourself “feel better” go to the spa for your mani/pedi.

Before you go to the spa, there are a few things you should know to not only get a safe mani/pedi, but to also make your visit enjoyable. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services suggests the following to reduce risking getting infections while getting a mani/pedi:

• Schedule one of the first appointments in the morning when tubs are cleanest. Or make sure your technician disinfects the tub before your pedicure.
• Bring your own pedicure tools. Use separate tools for pedicures and manicures to prevent contamination between toes and fingers.
• Skip shaving your legs before the appointment to help prevent bacteria from entering the skin.
• Have your feet scrubbed with a pumice stone, but never allow technicians to use a razor to remove dead skin.
• Make sure toenails are cut straight across and smoothed with an emery board. The board should never be shared with anyone else.
• Never allow your nails to be cleaned out with a sharp object that could puncture the skin; a blunt manicure stick is better.
• Make sure toes are completely dry when you leave. Extra moisture can lead to fungal growth.
• Never allow your cuticles to be cut, only pushed back.

With these few tips, you will not only look good and feel good, but do it in a safe manner!!

Single for the Holidays
All my single ladies, all my single ladies. Being single can be fun, spontaneous, exciting, liberating, but at times (especially during the Holidays), it can be a bit lonely.

Sometimes we find ourselves rekindling old flames for Holiday’s sake.  The Holiday brings warmth and cheer and having someone special to celebrate with makes it that much more warmer. Blah blah blah, snore!  The days of being sad and single during the Holidays are over.

Living Single for God
Couples aren’t the only ones entitled and/or deserving of Holiday spirit and cheer. Contrary to popular belief, single does not mean rejection, loneliness, or desperation. While Jesus walked the earth, he was single. 1 Corinthians 7 talk about  the Apostle Paul and how he served God and had a deeper relationship while he was single. You may be a greater to asset at this point of your life to God while you are single. Take advantage of this time with God to clearly understand his purpose for you, without any distractions.

Single and Loving It
Even though you are the Diva-licious Single Christian woman that you are, you might feel a certain void during the Holidays. Here are a couple of great ideas on how to spend your Holiday while being single and hot.

1. Pamper Yourself: You will probably take off time from work. During this time, have a spa day, get a facial, and/or mani/pedi.  You will look and feel your best when you are visiting friends and family.

2.  Go Shopping: Take advantage of all of the Holiday sales. Find that cute dress and heels for your upcoming Holiday party.

3. Work the Holiday Party: With your mani/pedi, facial, and new outfit, you are ready to work the floor. When you feel good on the inside and outside, you have a glow that attracts people to you. Let people know without telling them, that being single is working great for you.

4. Host a Holiday Party: Invite a group of friends over and cook a nice dinner. Tell all of your friends to bring a present under $20 and donate the gifts to a family or charity.

5. Thank God for all of His Blessings: Thank God for keeping you and using you for His will. Ask Him to help you follow his plan and use you for His blessings.

Happy Holidays!!

I was talking to some friends about trying a Detox Diet. The particular diet we were discussing was  the Lemonade Diet or Beyonce Diet. This type of diet is supposed to help you cleanse your body and in turn shed a few pounds. Apparently you are supposed to do a Detox once a year. Should we do the same for relationships?

Should we do a Relationship detox once a year. If you maintain a healthy lifestyle, then the detox diet would not be needed and the same goes for relationships. Ongoing evaluations of relationships keep us from having to do a yearly detox. But first, what is a toxic relationship, and how do you do a healthy detox?

Symptoms of a Toxic Relationship

1. The person gossips and talks bad about their friends, other people, and you

2. The person criticises and finds fault in everything and everyone

3. They don’t take into consideration your thoughts or ideas.

4. Demanding.

5. They put you down(may be very subtle).

6. Jealousy.

7. They are very needy. It’s all about them. When you call them to talk, they spill their day out without listening or asking about you.

8. Makes fun of you in front of people.

9. Constantly complain about their life.

10. They stress you out.

Healthy Detox

A detox can be done in many ways. Just like food, if done incorrectly, a detox can make you sicker than you were before.

1. Make a list of positives about the person

2. Involve a neutral person to gain a different perspective

3. Take responsibility and learn from the situation. Ask yourself why you are allowing this to happen?

4. Set boundaries. Let the person know what you will or will not tolerate.

5. Keep working on yourself. Work on your mindset, emotional capability, communication, and anger.

6. End the relationship. If all of the above don’t work, you have to walk away from the relationship.

This may seem harsh, but your health is more important. Relationships come in various forms. They can be friendships, intimate relationships, family, and business associates. Either way all “ships” are not meant to stay afloat.

Reading this list, you may find out that you are toxic person. Let’s try to be aware and cognizant on the impact we have on others. Being a positive light is someones life not only helps them, but it helps you as well.

Good luck and stay positive!

What is the definition of a Christian? Christianity is a very personal relationship that one has with Jesus. Although there are definitions out there, Chrisitianity has a different meaning to everyone. While Christianity is based on of Christian beliefs everyone experiences God in different ways.

I want to survey women all over to ask them what Christianity means to them, and then, what does being a Christianista means to them? My first interview is with Sheree.

Name: Sheree
Age: 21
Occupation: College Student
What does being a Christian mean to you?
Knowing and believing in God and trying to live your life by His rules and for Him.
What does being a Christianista mean to you?
Being a Christianista to me means being involved in Church. I’m a Christianista because I’m trendy when it comes to fashion and Christian related topics. I’m also non-judgemental and can have fun without being too out there.

Instead of fighting the cold changing weather, curl up on a rm couch while still looking cute.  Bring out your inner kid and lounge in these footed PJ’s while watching a good feeling movie like Love Actually. You can purchase these Paul Frank footed PJ’s from www.paulfrank.com. Warm feet, warm couch, and great movie, it can’t get any better than that. Wait! Did someone mention hot cocoa?

I can’t speak for you, but when I dress nice for any occasion, I feel motivated. I feel motivated to talk to more people, sit in the front row, and not rush off.  The same thing goes for working out. When I’m cute for my workout, I’m up early, I tend to meet new friends, and I stand in the front row during fitness class.

1. You tend to be more motivated:
You feel good about yourself when you look and wear the clothes that are complimentary to your body.

2. You are more confident:
There is nothing like wearing a workout outfit that is not flattering to your body. Take the time to shop around and find something that is made for your body. Your health is a great investment.

3. You may meet someone cute:
You never know when you’ll be approached by someone who is interested in you.

4. You can run errands right after your workout and still look fab:
Most of my Saturday morning workouts are followed by trips to the grocery store, hair salon, nail shop, and/or mall.

Here are a few cute workout outfits

My favorite places to buy workout clothes:

www.lucy.com
www.puma.com
www.victoriasecrets.com
www.lululemon.com

When I think of leaving this earth, I think of the people I will leave behind. I think about the hurt and heartache it will cause. Even though I will see my loved ones again, the time away from them for that time period will hardly be bearable. How to live beyond lost? Death may not be a lost that you are dealing with right now. In this economy living beyond job lost, relationship lost, body health lost, and many more is what many people are dealing with. Sometimes we have to take a step back and see how God is using us. He may be using us for someone else to see his mighty power.

Look at what God did to Job. The devil was jealous of Job and God let him take away EVERYTHING. Job’s cattle were taken away, all his servants killed, tornado destroyed his house and killed all of his children, and if that wasn’t enough  he got leprosy. Basically Job was a baller  who got robbed, employees were caught in a drive by, lost his house and kids to Hurricane Katrina, and then got the Swine Flu!! The craziest part of the story is, Job was never unfaithful to God and never questioned his love. WOW!

The question is asked again, how do you handle loss? I must admit, if I were Job, there would be some serious dialogue between God and myself.

In the end Job was blessed with double his cattle, had ten more kids, got his health back and lived another 140 years. God used Job to show us an example of devotion and long-suffering and is still showing us in 2009.

God thank you so much for all that you have done and given me. Thank you for letting your light shine through me. Please give me the strength and devotion of Job. Help me see the bigger picture when I am blinded by impenetrable trials and tribulations. In Jesus name…..

Read More here: Job 1:6-22

OK, so I searched for Christian blogs and most searches returned young pretty moms with families. I didn’t see one blog with young single Christians. Are they out there? Am I missing something? Although the other blogs were very interesting, I like to see young people in love with God. If you know of any blogs, please post them to my comments. During my search, here are some of my favorites:

http://cprice1018.wordpress.com/
http://disciplesteps.blogspot.com/
http://camys-loft.blogspot.com/

It’s Friday!!! You wanna wear your jeans, but maybe you’re going to dinner with friends after work. How to tackle the casual/work/cute look.  Try something like this:

sweater: jcrew

jeans: hudson

shirt: jcrew

Today is the first time that I actually took the time out to observe this day. In the past, it was just another thing that came up and changed the picture on google’s homepage. Actually taking the time to read the bold, sad, stomach dropping stories really made me think about things. Being aware and never too careful is the secret. Here is one story about a young woman named Damaries Cruz:

When were you diagnosed with HIV?

I was diagnosed on November 23, 1991.

It’s amazing you still remember the exact date.

It’s part of a celebration of my life, so I have two birthdays. I cut a cake when it’s November 23 and I celebrate that I’m surviving.

I imagine you saw a lot of people die in those years. That was before treatment was available.

Yes. Unfortunately, I just recently lost a friend two weeks ago.

Was this another person who had had HIV for a very long time?

Yes. I think since 1996. Unfortunately, she had cancer too and they were doing chemotherapy. It didn’t go too well.

Tell me what it was like in 1991 to be diagnosed with HIV.

I was diagnosed when I was 21 years old. They told me back then that I had one year to live. I really thought it was the end of my life.
What was your CD4 count? Do you remember?

Let me think. It’s been a long time. The last number I can remember is 600, a few years after that.
Your CD4 count was pretty high, yet you were given a bad prognosis?

Yes, but they gave me that prognosis because they assumed that HIV means “dead,” so you’re going to die regardless. They just didn’t know a lot about it.

How do you think you were infected?

I know how I was infected — it was by my fiancé at the time. I met him and I asked him if he was positive, if he ever tested, and he said, “Yes, I’m negative.” Then I started to have a lot of yeast infections for a whole year, vaginal infections. The doctor thought that I had cancer and he said, “Go and get tested for cancer. Do a biopsy, because I’m sure you have cancer. Do HIV just to rule it out.” The biopsy came back negative and the HIV test came back positive.

When I went home and I told my fiancé, he said, “I knew I was going to take someone with me. I never thought it was going to be you.” He knew all along that he had it!

What did you do?

I reacted to it. It didn’t hit me until later on. I still was going to marry him for a few reasons. For one thing, I didn’t think anyone was going to accept me with HIV. And I was in love with him and my heart doesn’t know how to hate someone.

But the week before the wedding I found him with someone else in bed. He passed it to her too.

You found out later from her?

No. I found out later on from someone else that she had it.

Did you break off the wedding when you saw them together?

Yes, I did. He passed away two years later.

He left a big trail behind him.

Yes, he kind of did.

What happened then? What a traumatic way to end a relationship!

It was really hard because that first year, I really struggled a lot. We were going to get married right away after we were diagnosed; then this happened. I was with my mother in her house, and she had to do everything for me because I said, “Well, I’m going to die in a year anyway.” She had to feed me because I was so depressed that my mind threw me in bed.

What happened is that someone from church passed around. They took me to a retreat and I felt that God healed my soul.

How long was this after you were diagnosed?

A year passed.

When you were first diagnosed, who did you tell?

I told my fiancé first because he was my partner; then I told my mother.

Was your fiancé much older than you were?

Eight years older.

Read more stories here: www.thebody.com

Doing something I’m not supposed to do. At work when I am shopping online, even if it’s during a small break, I hate when people walk past my computer. I feel like people are spying on me. I realized this because I grew a huge feeling of hate for one of the guys that works in my office. I know hate is a huge word, which made me sit and think of where this feeling evolved from. I noticed that I counted every time he got up from his desk. I thought “how nosy he is, i wish he would sit down somewhere ugh”. It’s because I am doing something that I’m not suppose to be doing and getting caught. How many times are you caught and annoyed at the person who catches you?

Are you a fan of trendy diets. Do you starve yourself/diet/binge/exercise then start the cycle all over again? If you are doing this you may be breaking your metabolism.

I am naturally thin and tall (which doesn’t hurt), 120 lbs and 5’7. However, I am afraid of getting sick when I’m older because of my poor poor eating habits. I am very very active which leads me to believe I can eat whatever I want. I’m afraid that when I’m too old to be active, my bad eating habits will catch up with me. All of these reasons make me eager to learn about eating healthy and staying active, although I don’t always follow advice, I try. I was listening to the radio this morning about how we break our metabolism and how it can be fixed, so I looked it up.

Apparently there are many ways to boost your metabolism.
1st way: work out for only 4 minutes changing pace every 30 seconds.
2nd way: eat every 2 to 4 hours, and only until you are content
3rd way: food choices
4th way: a good nights sleep

Also keep track of what you eat and the calories you burn with this calorie calculator.

I will be following the steps to stay healthy, think clearly, and get my body tight!! I will keep you posted on my progress.

This a cool tool I found that lets you know what % you should spend on everything from toiletries to rent. I live in a very expensive place so the 30% of my monthly income on rent does not work. However, you can adjust the percentages to make it work for you. It is very simple. Just put in your monthly bring home and VOILA…..

So….I’m not sure what brought me to this article but it was very interesting. Sex toys for Christian women? These sex toys have rules and regulations and are for married couples ONLY. Because I will embark on my married journey one day, I can appreciate couples trying to keep their union spicy as well as honest.

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