The Christianista

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

Before I started my Sunday run last night,  I was content with finishing my  4 miles in 28 minutes. A 7 minute a mile pace is pretty good for running 4 miles because you work up a nice sweat, yet  you’re not sprinting. I put my shoes on and in less than 5 minutes I was out of  the door to beat the  sunset. Now what happens next is not foreign and happens quite a bit to me, I’m working on this now. I started my run and was about a mile into it when a guy runs past me. In some crazy way, him passing me translated into him disrespecting me in my mind. Because the first step to getting over a bad habit is admitting it, I must admit that I am a pretty competitive person to a fault.  As the runner passed me, my pace automatically picked up and I was suddenly on his heels. I followed this random strange runner mocking his pace making sure that my feet were hitting the ground at the same time as his for about 2 miles. His pace was much faster than my pace and my  lungs were screaming, but I wasn’t going to quit and he is going to learn to never pass me again. At the end of mile 2, his pace started to slow up and I was about to make my move and pass him to show him who’s boss. To my dismay, the runner stops and starts to stretch. What?!?! This was mile 3 for me and I hadn’t realized that I had 1 more mile to go. I had an entire mile to go and my body was aching and crying for me to stop. At any point now I knew my knees would buckle and the t-shirt with “If I pass out call this number” idea that my dad gave me suddenly seemed like a brilliant idea. After I passed the runner and without my permission, my body down shifted to a crawl like jog.  As I finally made it to the end of my 4 mile run, it had been 30 minutes, I was drenched with sweat, and I felt like I needed to throw up. Does this story sound familiar to you?

collage of marathons with friends

Maybe your story isn’t exactly like mine, but have you ever wanted what someone else had or wanted to be just like someone else? Staying focused is especially hard to do when you are comparing and competing with other people. Just like my situation where I was competing with the runner, you never know what happens when you are not watching. I didn’t know where the runner started, he could have only ran 2 miles and instead of me being focused on my goal, I was distracted and lost sight of the goals that I set for myself. In life we want the life of other people, we want their cars, their jobs, their shoes, their bags, their money and in reality we have no idea what the story behind their lives. God doesn’t want us to covet our neighbor but in turn wants us to delight ourselves in Him. Trying to be like others will burn you out, the same way I barely finished my run before the sun went down because I was focusing on someone else. The Bible tells us in Romans 12:2 not to conform to this world but instead to renew our minds. Let’s challenge ourselves to only compete with ourselves and push ourselves to do what God wants us to do and not what others push us to do.

running essentials

happy running,
the christianista

I have two calendars that I go by. One is my normal calendar and the other is my “superwoman” calendar. I know that I don’t have the energy or time to be a superwoman every day of the week, so I usually pick two or three days to do this. I started doing this because somewhere in the last 2 years, I have become a “yes” person. I rarely say no to anything or anyone. I always want to help and be in two places at one time. By the end of the day I realize that everything I did was because someone asked me to do it. I was just going with the flow and my to-do list and calendars had been left on the back burner. Where had my day gone?

Talking to my Dad on the phone he told me that he thought my life was way too busy and I needed to simplify. My day had gotten so busy that I didn’t have time to pray in the morning or night. In the morning I would rush out of bed and at night I would fall asleep on the couch typing away at my computer. So, for the last few weeks I have taken  few steps to simplify my life with the help of my Dad:

1. Start your day off with prayer – How can you start your day without thanking God for waking you up? A prayer takes no more than 5 minutes of your day, how can you refuse to do that for someone who keeps you for 24 hours of your day? Prayer helps me focus on Him and accepting what he has planned for me for the day.

2. Look at your calendar and/or to-do list for your entire week – It is so important for me to look at my calendar for the future week/month so that I can see what days I will be busy so when the day comes, I won’t be surprised.

3. Relax- Find time to do nothing. A time for you to just relax. I find about an hour or two a day to get into a  good book.

4. Bedtime ritual – Make a ritual that prepares you for the next day. Find your clothes, write your to-dos, catchup on emails, and pray. This is just a suggestion based on what I do.

That’s my simple living manifesto.  What is yours?

love,
the christianista

Recently I’ve been dealing with things in my life that have kept me away from writing. I have been mourning the loss of a close friend, mentor, and loved one in the form of my grandfather. I understand that death is a a part of living, but it is very hard part to accept.

I thank God for the amazing relationship that he has formed together between his son Jesus and myself. If it weren’t for that relationship, I would question and doubt God’s intentions for taking such a precious part of my life away from me.

I talked to my grandfather on the phone at least every week. I LOVED hearing his voice, it actually made me smile. At times when I heard his voice, my eyes would well up from so much joy I had from hearing his laugh. Feelings of guilt for living so far away and not being able to provide him with a better life surrounded me. I loved my grandfather for so many reasons. I loved him because he was so overjoyed when I called him. I loved him because he was incredibly intelligent and I could never beat him in a game of  checkers. I loved him because of the way his puppy dog eyes looked at me when I had to leave. I loved him because of the way I could talk to him for more than an hour on the phone and not realize it. I loved him because he gave me my Dad who reminds me of him in so many ways. I loved him because I  can empathize with his sweet tooth. I loved him because when I was around him, it couldn’t get any better. I loved him because I could still teach him new things and tell him jokes. I loved him because he made me laugh out loud every time I talked to him.I remember when his first leg was amputated, I was so sad and he could see it in my face. He looked at me and said “don’t be sad, I can still dance” as he lifted his stump of a leg up and down to show me.  He would always tell me to “take my love with you”.

I will always take your love with me Granddaddy, I just wish I could take you with me too. I miss you!

love,
the christianista

So today I realized that God is crazy about me. I love him and he loves me way more. Sometimes when I’m blessed with certain things that I know I don’t deserve, I feel like that little girl who has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. I feel spoiled by God. Out of all the people in the world, He loves me the most, or at least it feels that way. Have you ever received a blessing and thought to yourself that you didn’t deserve it?

I was reading a story about a little boy who was the only survivor of a plane crash and in good condition. Out of the 103 passengers and crew, this little 10 – year old boy survived. The media writes that this is nothing short of a miracle, but I’m writing that this is nothing but a blessing. After seriously thinking I was favored by God and that I had special attention, now I’m wondering is it possible for God to have two favorites?

God is so good that he makes us all his favorite. His omnipresence, love, and consistency is what keeps up feeling like #1.  Psalms 139: 7 says it best:

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in 1Sheol, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will 1overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,” 12 Even the darkness is not dark 1to You, And the night is as bright as the day.Darkness and light are alike to You.

No matter what you do, where you go, who you’re with, God will be there too. He will be your #1 fan, your best-friend, your life jacket, your go to person, he will be there because you are his favorite!

love,
the christianista

Yesterday I found out that my Uncle Willie passed away. They found his body unconscious from a heart attack. My Uncle was young in age and even younger at heart. We would tease him because he would  complain that he was tired all the time. He was the baby of the family. He lived and took good care of my granddad, but would sleep the day away. We would find him walking to his  room saying, “I’m tired, I’ve been babysitting Daddy all day”. When we would come to visit my grandfather, we would bust through my Uncle’s bedroom door to make him wake up. He never told us why he was so tired. When he died, papers were found in his room, evidence finding him guilty of being on a wait list for a heart transplant. He never told us.

My dad took it the hardest in my opinion. It was his baby brother. It was the only other person who could make my dad so mad.  My Uncle Willie. He was so funny!! No, really really funny.  He was about 6 feet tall, thin boyish frame with a big head and even bigger smile. I can’t remember a time when he was not smiling.

There, I did it!

You will always be adored and missed. Until we meet again……

love,
the christianista

When Lauryn Hill sings these lyrics in her song “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind”, I doubt she is talking about the same “He” that I’m thinking of. In her song, she sings of a man who tells her over and over again that it’s impossible and who takes all of her energy.

However, there is one line that I can relate to, although I love this song for various reasons. When she sings, “He inspires me to be the higher me”, that hits home. Not only do I think of the obvious, Jesus Christ, but I also think of my dad. It brings me to think of who I will allow into a relationship with me.

All of my life while entering relationships, I only got with men who inspired me to be a better person. I think it’s important to bring something new and different to the table and only grow and learn from each other. My best relationship was when I actually got closer to God while in the relationship. This is what I desire, and a standard that is not negotiable.

love,
the christianista